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Next weeks theme: OPEN

10 Things that Truman is Afraid Of

1. His shadow

2. Loud noises

3. Other dogs

4. Other dogs that are big

5. The vacuum

6. The doorbell

7. Air

8. His tail

9. His own farts

10. Real live BEARS....

Totally not kidding!

Truman is the most skittish dog I've ever seen. And this morning? Truman took his little phobia to a new level.

You see Truman was banished to the backyard this morning because he tried to take a poo in the house. I got busy with email and work stuff and forgot that he was even outside and then ....

I heard him jumping up on the glass door wanting to come in. He was really trying to get inside too, I could tell by the way he was pouncing on the glass. I got up from the office and headed to the door to let him in and as soon as the door opened he bolted past me for the inside. I caught a glimpse of both the neighbors to my left out in their own yards and then noticed a bunch of cars along the curb on the street just past their fences. For a minute I thought school was in session and parents were waiting with their kids for the bus to arrive.

I yelled over and asked "What in the world is going on?" and they surprisingly replied:

"A bear just went through your backyard and up that way."

A BEAR.

And poor Truman was OUTSIDE. (If only I could have seen Truman's reaction to the bear jumping the fence. Without a doubt it probably would have been priceless)

He went through three backyards and SEVEN DOGS were outside at the time.

Luckily not a one got munched on.

I'm still upset that I never got to see the bear. I missed him by mere nanoseconds.

But I'm glad that no dogs were injured (and no people) during the bears early morning stroll.

Later on in the morning I let the dogs out and Truman would not leave our deck. He nervously kept looking off to the left where the bear entered our yard. I finally went outside with the dogs and was able to coax him into the grass. Both dogs eventually caught the scent of the bear and they went on a sniffing frenzy. But Truman acted with caution. The wind picked up and rustled a leaf on a bush poking through our fence and Truman took off for the deck. It scared him. The dogs next door were outside barking another time and it caught Truman off guard and again he bailed as fast as he could for the deck. It scared him.

The poor dog is traumatized.

And I'm still upset that I never got to see the damn bear.

Happiness......

....is nature.

Terrorism Threat Level: RED

My family is being terrorized by a family of magpies.

Well wait a second, let me rephrase that: my dogs are being terrorized by a family of magpies.

Hold up, let me try this again. My dog McKinnley is being terrorized by a family of magpies, because Truman? He's a chicken shit and takes cover on our back porch.

As soon as the back door opens, and the dogs run out, the mama and papa magpie fly in from their location and take cover on the back fence. They squawk, and squawk and squawk at the dogs walking up and down the fence line. Which is rather annoying to be honest. And as I said before, Truman usually retreats to the back porch while Mickey goes about her business.

On occasion Mickey will take notice of the annoying squawking magpie and give them a glance.

But that's about the extent of it. She doesn't care - after all she's twelve. And probably bitter and angry at us for welcoming Truman into the family. He beats her up because he's a puppy and just wants to play. All.The.Time.

The neighbors and I for days now have been trying to figure out where the magpie nest is, because we know they are acting the way they are because they are being protective of their young, but we haven't been lucky enough to locate it.

The other night I walked past the back door and noticed a magpie on our rock wall out back. They had been squawking constantly that evening and so I had the bright idea of letting the dogs out (thinking they'd scare the damn birds away or maybe even catch one) but as soon as Mickey went running out, I realized that the magpie I thought was an adult? Was a baby. And then I frantically grabbed for Truman as he tried to make a mad dash past me for....you guessed it...the baby bird (if you recall he got a mama robin not that long ago...he's a true and true bird dog you guys!) I went to reach for Truman's collar all the while letting go of the metal screen door and like a scene out of The Three Stooges, the metal door smacked me upside the head and ....

Yeah, I think I said a few choice words.

BUT HEY!

Truman did not get the baby bird and the magpie family is still as happy as can be.

My head however? Not so much.